Dear Single Ready-To-Be-Married Mama,
I heard you complaining about how you’re really ready to be married, and just waiting for the right guy. And I know how challenging it is to raise a child without the help of a committed partner. You’re smart, and I understand why you would think that being married is the answer. Well, I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't tell you something very important. You think you are ready for marriage, but the truth is—you are so not ready!
Trust me. I know. You see, I've been happily married for 15 years. I love my husband dearly. But as amazing as married life is, there are some things that nobody tells you. When I got married, I thought I was ready. But I wasn't, and I know that you aren’t either. You aren’t ready because you don’t know the 4 secrets of marriage that nobody talks about. So honey, let me be the first to break the silence:
- Once you’re married you will want a divorce. You won’t feel that way every day, but there will be days that you fantasize so hard about leaving your husband that you’ll do a Google search for “quickie divorce lawyers.” Many, such as the website divorcestatistics.info, estimate the U.S. divorce rate to be 41-50%. It will take unbelievable commitment from both you and your husband not to become a statistic.
- He really won’t care about making you happy. Well, he will care. But his first instinct will be to make himself happy. And that will be your first reaction too. That’s just human nature. Your chances of staying married hinge on whether both of you are mature enough to push that instinct aside and put your spouse first.
- He’ll cheat on you. If he doesn’t he’ll be in the minority. Infidelity is one of the top reasons for divorce with some studies estimating that as many as 75% of married men cheat. It takes a really strong man to keep his eyes, mind and other body parts focused on just one woman.
- It doesn’t get easier as you get older. A recent Wall Street Journal article stated that the divorce rate for people over 50 has doubled over the last two decades. Marriage is work at any age. If you aren’t prepared to work at your relationship for life, then don’t bother making a trip down the aisle.
Don’t get me wrong. Marriage can be beautiful. But it is a challenge. And those married girlfriends who say that it’s a bed of roses are lying to you. You have to decide if it’s worth the risk.
Your Happily Married Friend
P.S. – Now do you really think you’re ready for marriage?
Words: Yolanda Darville
Yolanda Darville is a mom, writer, communications strategist and blogger focusing on philanthropy and empowering women. Learn more about her on her blog www.bahamamommyinc.com .