I’ll Never Do That Again: Was Your First Pregnancy Your Last?

sad black woman
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Pregnancy and delivery is definitely no joke. For me, pregnancy and delivery was one of the toughest things that I have ever experienced in my entire life. The change a woman’s body goes through to carry a child truly boggles the mind. Our bodies literally stretch to hold a growing infant and our uterus’ efface (soften and thin out) to make way for their delivery into the world.  It is a process that is beautifully complex and there’s nothing else in the world that I can think of that compares to it.

Yes, being pregnant and giving birth to a child is a beautiful thing. However, it is no easy feat.  During pregnancy we experience morning sickness and swollen ankles. And during delivery our uterus’ ache beyond description as it contracts to make way for our bundle of joy. Some women even tear their v-jay jay during delivery, and others have to have an episiotomy (an incision made between the vagina and your behind to allow an infant to pass through easier) or cesarean section to aid in the birthing process.

For some, the discomfort of pregnancy and the pain of childbearing disappear forever once they have a chance to hold their little one in their arms for the very first time. The first encounter with their baby seems to melt away all of the anguish they experienced before delivery. For them, staring into their baby's face wipes it all away. For others, the pregnancy and/or delivery are a very traumatic experience.  So traumatic, that they refuse to ever do it again. The moment that they met their child for the first time didn’t magically melt away the memories of the pain they experienced prior to their arrival. They vividly remember every ache, every pain, every contraction, and every single solitary moment of nausea. They remember the sensitivity to smell, the difficulty keeping food down, and the Fred Flinstone-esque feet brought on by all the swelling. These experiences create an indelible impression in their minds. Many women ask questions like “why would I purposely put myself through that again?”, and honestly, I can’t blame them.

I have two close friends that have vowed to never get pregnant again. I guess the pain of childbearing proved to be much too much.  One even went as far as getting her tubes burned. For her, it was THAT serious.

What about you? Was your first pregnancy your last? If so, what was it exactly that made you make that decision? Excessive morning sickness? Intense delivery?  Do tell.

Briana McCarthy is a digital journalist, lifestyle, beauty and culture writer, blogger, speaker, social media strategist, and an advocate for special needs children. Check out her blog at www.themanesource.com and follow her in Twitter @themanesource.

 I’ll Never Do That Again: Was Your First Pregnancy Your Last?

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Comments

  • CairosMom

    My 1st and last child is a month old today. He will be my only child.
    I had to be induced a week after my due date. It got bad real fast. Got my epidural too late so it didn’t work. Labored for 12 hrs. pushed for 2 of the 12 hrs. I ended up with a second degree tear. Still recovering.

  • Dya Gomez

    Maybe one more. Right now I am satisfied with my 9-month daughter. After getting two failed epidurals and ending with a c-section, I cannot imagine another delivery any time soon.

  • Twyn

    I am pregnant now and I could not imagine going through this again. To me, it is somewhat unbearable. It is HIS grace that gets me through this every day. And I’ve never been patient. I’m only 17 weeks and I feel like Ive been pregnant for 3 years. I can not wait until my due date.

  • Save the Babies

    Awww come on! I have borne two naturally-birthed children (and only weigh 120 pounds!) Contractions (obviously) aren’t promised to be ticklish, but it’s worth it. When Margaret Sanger founded Planned Parenthood, it was with the intention of ‘preventing colored women from breeding’. How many lost souls have succumbed to the vacuum cleaner device when the “Choice” was made to terminate a pregnancy? How many more women dangerously envy and resent us because they CAN’T bear children? It’s a gift. A major testimony of our Power and Status on this planet. Just get a Doula/Midwife next time. These OB/GYN’s get paid more to dope us up and cut us open. The Natural experience preserves all the sentiment intended to accompany such a beautiful occurence. And there were no episiotomies required either. Go Natural…..not Margaret Sanger with it!

  • Mela

    My ‘baby’ is now 21 years old, and after 36hr of labor (which is nothing compared to some women), I vowed never do to that to myself again….he was two weeks over due before they started to induce labor, which didn’t work (that boy did NOT want to be evicted from my womb!!), and I was miserable and tired of having my organs pressed to my back, not being able to breath properly, or having to check into the hospital every couple of days so that they could monitor me and then send me home…..Selfish of me to not want another one? Hell yeah!!

  • Carter

    I have a 3 year old and am currently 8 months pregnant. No more after this. I had to have my cervix sewn shut this pregnancy due to incompetent/insufficient cervix which I found out I had after losing my last baby halfway through the second trimester, and I also suffer from severe SPD/PGP which gets worse with each pregnancy. To me, having another child Is not worth missing out on so much time with the children I have or ending up disabled.

  • AB1523

    Yep first is definitely last I got my tubes tied the day after giving birth. I never really intended to get pregnant but I had just switched BC & had a condom break :( the next day I threw up pizza & continued to vomit after eating everything til I checked into the hospital to give birth my birth was was better than I expected I barely made it in time for the epidural (to any first time moms out there don’t wait @ home) & then ripped so bad that a year later I still have residual effects :( luckily I didn’t feel anything! Whenever someone asks me when’s the next one I happily tell them “one & done” then they of course say “you’ll change your mind” or my fav “you can’t let him be an only child” I then explain in detail how awful pregnancy was for me & the birth :)