15 Signs Your Little Girl is Growing Up Too Fast

76 Comments

 

15. She was forced to learn hard lessons early.

Traumatic feelings that result from sexual assault or abuse can leave a young girl with conflicting feelings about sexuality and womanhood.  These feelings are not her fault, but there is a chance she could express her confusion by being sexually aggressive or promiscuous, since she feels her innocence was stolen from her. Encourage her to be confident and show her healthy ways to love and care for herself and others.

Toya Sharee is a program associate for a Philadelphia non-profit that focuses on parenting education and building healthy relationships between parents, children and co-parents. She also has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog BulletsandBlessings.

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Comments

  • rilisnc1018

    This article could not have been written better. I stress these things myself and how i raise my daughter. Thank you for shining that late on this very important topic.

    • rilisnc1018

      * light

  • coacht

    Some of these things are simple normal adolescent behaviors that should be nurtured and directed, not necessarily bad things. While it might be shocking to see a 12 year old in the heels and other trappings of adulthood taken too far, it’s equally shocking to meet a 19 year old woman that doesn’t know how to get her hair, makeup, or nails done well or how to walk in heels at all. In some socioeconomic circles, reliance on “brand names” etc is indeed a bad habit – for budget reasons. But equally bad is rejecting quality just because it is branded and embracing cheap garbage that will last a week simply because it costs less. In the long term, some of those “expensive” wares will last much longer than will the “just as good” from the likes of WalMart and Family Dollar. There must be a value lesson in value as well.

    Equally important for young men as well. Ask around, how many young adult men do you know that can tie a tie? Yet they’d like to work in a world that wears one. Similarly, the young ladies will be required to at least understand the trappings of the world they’d like to work in too. A world where a Coach purse is more than just a bag in which to carry bobbles and where heels are sometimes expected or desired.

    That said, number 14 is perhaps the most insightful observation on adolescent rearing I’ve ever read. You simply can’t toss them into the world of adult responsibilities and at the same time expect them to survive there acting like little children.

    • alleisharocks

      12 and 19 is a wopping 8 years apart. im 16 which is just 4 years from 12, i learnt to put on makeup wen i was about 15½- almost a year now. tweens need to start investing in lipgloss rather than eyeliner. when i shop i dont look at the tag, instead i feel the material and look at the design. note: sumtimes wen u look at the tag its a brand name, but point is it the product tht pulls u to it rather than its tag. as forcoach bags, no 12 y-o should want a coach bag. i have 4 moer years to b 19, im sure i’ll learn a whole lit more for the business world

    • Spark0303

      Not trying to be rude but at 21 I didn’t have any children had my medical degree almost finished was working. Going to school full time. Paying a mortgage on my own and had a lot of fun with me friend. U don’t deserve a medal for acting ur age sorry. Lots of people do it everyday.
      Having no children then I didn’t know anything about parenting therefore I kept my mouth shut. Nothing is more annoying than an over confident barely legal single adult giving parenting pointers. U don’t have kids. U have no idea what it’s like. And parenting is mostly a learn as you go occupation No one is perfect.

  • Mom

    My daughter has 3 of 15. I know for a fact its because they have way more things than we did as growing up. She dies have instgram and twitter and facebook but i have every pw. My daughter is 15 and does have a “BF” but she is only allowed to spend time with him in public when a parent is around. I just pray she is being raised to be a great person and to respect herself and others.

  • Josh

    Could not agree more with every point. I deal with all but the last three points on an almost daily occurrence with my 14 year old. The worst part is my wife and I try to teach her right and it gets erased by my mother-in-law the next day, and then we are the bad guys. And because if that the last three points seem to becoming more of a possibility.

    • mochamama

      Well, it sounds like you need to step up and have a conversation with your wife (and mother-in-law) about what’s appropriate for your teen daughter. Your mother-in-law needs to know she must respect the boundaries that you & your wife have set for your daughter. If she can/will not, you need to confine your mother-in-law’s interaction with your daughter to a minimum, and in your home where you can supervise your mother-in-law’s influence.

  • Daddy of 3

    On point with it all. I’m the father of three girls. All that was mention is exactly what I worry about.

  • Brandy Weis

    Pregnancy is a sure sign.

  • Passthaswish

    You know there are white little girls too. Pretty biased with your photo selections

    • Ms Jones

      Did you NOT notice the name of the site? Noire means black. Now you see how the rest of the world feels.

      • Blahface

        Oh, shut up. The rest of the world wishes you would get over yourselves.

        • lordofthegays

          Go to another website, hun. If black websites offend you–get your ass out of here.

    • karasbluntly

      I agree, but now that I know this is a black site it all makes sense. Nothing in this article pertains to MY daughter. It’s so sad to read that black girls act like this. I wish there was a white website, but then if there was, we would be racist.

      • naturallybeautiful21

        Lots of little girls act this way, race has nothing to do with it. And you wouldn’t be “racist” for having a site for white girls, being that basically every website around is for white people. I don’t know why people get offended when someone of a different race has his/her own thing that’s not specifically generated for whites. Welcome to our world, where we feel excluded in just about every way possible.

        • PhoneBill

          You’re right that race is not the cause for little girls acting like grown-ups but you are out of yoir mind if you think a site exclusively for whites wouldn’t be considered racist. I for one couldn’t care less about who a site is catering to, I’m not compelled to visit any site so to each their own. But, let’s be honest, a site named mommablanc would be mocked and ridiculed by every non-white and guilt-stricken white organization in the universe.

      • yep

        You do realize you are both humans. your basically saying that because your colored a different skin tone, that none of this parenting advice applies to you. I do disagree with some points in this article but its because i don’t agree with her parenting not because she’s black you dumb racist mother. btw im white, mexican, french, dutch and most importantly a human not a racist ignorant woman

    • foevame36

      So true, even though this is some good information; it’s a little too bias. It’s not only the little black girls, but little girls of every color. and i really don’t believe that a little girl actually told her she wanted to be a stripper, that seems a bit exaggerated to me, I’ve heard little girls say they wanted to be an actress, dancer or singer but never stripper, where is she teaching at? Appears to be some self hate going on.

      • foevame36

        And I am very black FYI

      • Mrs. S

        I have heard several middle school aged girls say they wanted to be strippers. That is not all that uncommon.

    • GangstaGangsta

      In the world ads and toys and TV shows are very white people filled coming from a white guy

  • djtherealist

    I love this article but I agree with passthaswish this article touched on alot of true things in today’s society but why did every pic on here have either mainly African American woman or any other descent except a white woman

    • Ms Jones

      Noire means black.

      • Lala

        It seems like there could have been one little white girl thrown in for good measure, we’re all equal dealing with the same stuff right? If I wandered onto a site called “white women” and all I saw were pics of white people and nothing else… I would think that was racist and a little weird.

        • A non-racist white male

          Black people are the most racist people on the planet. They just pretend thy are not. I don’t care if you wanr to be racists… just stop whining about it at the same time.

  • Kaitie

    God this post frustrated me so badly. Granted I’m only 21 and don’t have any children of my own, but I can tell you based from the fact that my mother sounds like she was exactly like this, this post is ridiculous. First off, looking through their Facebook and monitoring their activity even if done with good intentions, most likely your daughter is not going to see it that way and the only thing that is going to come from it is your daughter no longer trusting you, therefore making it less likely she will come to you for help when she has a real problem. Next don’t get too hung up on what they are listening to. My mom grounded me when I was in 6th grade and deleted all the music off if my MP3 player when I was in middle school because I was listening to DMX on my computer through the speakers when the lyrics said “suck my dick” which is when she flipped out. Up until that point I had no idea that is what he said or what that even meant, that is until I looked it up to see why my mom got so angry. Now even though I agree with you that teenagers or whatever should not be wanting Coach or other name brand items, I do think that instead of denying them it and telling them they are superficial for wanting those items, use it as an opportunity to teach her responsibility and the value of a doller. If she’s old enough, encourage her to get a job. If not give her chores to do for an allowance and tell her to save up and buy it for herself, that way she will learn how much effort it takes to make money and that it doesn’t grow on trees. Additionally, the amount of time it takes for her to save up that money, once she reaches the goal amount it’s very likely she will be more hesitant to spend it on something so unnecessary such ad a purse and continue saving up for other things. My parents did this with me starting when I was 6. 6 years old I wanted a Razr Scooter, now I used all of the money I saved for 15 years and just paid off the mortgage on my own condo in Denver. So the tattoo, piercing thing. It’s not unusual for teens to want those things at the time because they think it will make them cool, and at that age? Yeah it will be idolized. I wanted the same thing when I was 16, when I was 18 I got my first tattoo on my wrist that writes “every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.” And I have no regrets about it. When I was 19 over spring break in college a friend and I got our tongues pierced, and you know what, both of us took them out not 2 months later because it made us look trashy and unprofessional. You have got to let them make their own mistakes (to an extent, if they are planning on robbing a place, yeah you should probably step in). Now I get I may have taken extremes with these and that maybe you think I just grew up in a different time or whatever. But in middle and high school I had failing grades, I was expelled from middle school for selling alcohol to a classmate. I got in trouble through out high school for drugs and a whole list of things, I even (although not proud of it) lost my virginity when I was 13, all of this when I was under my moms parenting style, when they decided to try my fathers take on parenting, which was stepping back and providing guidance and advice rather than literally controlling my life in every aspect and only stepping in when absolutely necessary. My senior year I had straight As, got into the college of my choice where I am not studying medicine, I moved out 3 days after I graduated high school at 18, I am now 20 years old in my second semester of my junior year, planning on going into the Air Force for grad school and hopefully end up working with the nfl in the future. I don’t know why the hell I just went on this 700 page rant about things that don’t involve me whatsoever and that is probably just going to get negative feedback but I guess maybe just try the back off approach and give it a shot, of course at first they may go crazy from the freedom but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. And again I get most of my most is about teaching responsibility and this post is about them maturing too quick but who said that maturity at a young age is bad? If that’s what makes them happy an doesn’t hurt them or others, I don’t see a reason to intervene.

    • Daisytoo

      I appreciate what you have to say, and, as a grand-mother, I am also more inclined towards your Dad’s style of parenting. Having said that, I’d not only have pressed the delete button on your whatever player, I’d have gone w/your Mom and wrung the collective neck of DMX – same as I’d have done w/anyone I caught sexually abusing my child.

      I hope you can thank your mother from the bottom of your heart for so fervently protecting you from such decadent slobs as DMX – who knew darned well what age group was listening to their pure garbage!

      Best of luck to you; you sound like a good young woman. Stay on the right path.

      • Kaitie

        I do appreciate what she has done for me obviously, to not do so would be very ungrateful but you have to understand my mother and I have a very unusual mother daughter dynamic and do not get a long more often than we do, very controlling and demanding about my weight and stuff because she’s always wanted me to go into modeling but as a sports medicine major I obviously have little interest in that. That being said, I understand why she deleted DMX off of my iPod, but contrarily I had no idea what he was saying was inappropriate until she freaked out. I was still rather naive and liked the chorus and beat, aside from that I was clueless, but once she freaked out I investigated what the problem was and that’s when I first found out about duragatory slang for ‘penis’ such as “dick” (sorry for the language) so take that as you will. And I am sorry, I did not mean to make it sound like DMX was talking about sexual abuse in any way because that is not what he was saying, it was still very profane but it was not about sexual abuse. Any reference to sexual abuse that glorifies it is absolutely unacceptable and is disgusting, there is in no instance that is acceptable and I have zero tolerance for any kind of jokes or mocking about that in any way whatsoever.

        • Daisytoo

          Sounds like you’re choosing your own direction, and this despite your mother’s (perhaps insistent?) notion that her ideas for you are better than your own. It does sound complicated. Being true to your own path can be hard to do – and it sounds like you’re doing just fine. And that’s the best thing you could ever do for yourself and for your relationship w/your mother. Seems you know just that :)

          W/re: to DMX and sex abuse – you do misunderstand. Whomever DMX is, trust me, he/they know precisely who their customers are. And it IS sexually abusive to be singing their lyrics to kids. Can you, for a moment, imagine yourself reciting those words to a youngster? Can you imagine yourself as a child – w/out the headphones, w/out the musical backdrop – having DMX stop you on the street and recite those words to you? It’s sexually abusive. Period.

          How do you think it is that the kind of degradation of humanity we have w/in our culture has been normalized? You start out w/innocent children who, like yourself, don’t comprehend the harm – get them used to it, so that by young adulthood this becomes the new norm. Meanwhile, DMX (if he’s not dead due to his own low living) is wringing his dollar filled hands in glee – happy to be enriched and glad to have brought so many down to his level.

          Perhaps the way your mother reacted shamed you in some way; sadly, that can happen. Ideally, parents can respond more thoughtfully to this kind of situation – calmly, w/more respect for the child’s innocence. However, parents who have themselves had their innocence taken advantage of can behave just the way your mother did. And this can be especially true if a child felt s/he had to handle things all on her own. Maybe something for you to consider.

          Best of luck to you in all your endeavors.

    • GuessWho

      I said the same thing you said before I had my own, just wait until you have your own. You will find yourself doing some of the same things both of your parents did to you. Every child is different, what works on one child don’t work on the other! Yes, I am one of those parents that goes through my daughters things.

      • Kaitie

        Yeah I guess I didn’t think about the fact that my opinion and perspective is rather skewed since I do not have kids of my own. And with all of the recent things going on I understand that looking through your kids things is justified, I guess I’m just saying more that there is a fine line between checking to make sure they are safe and just digging through their personal lives. But like you said I am sure this will all change for me significantly once I have kids of my own.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/JOLNZ47LVKOO4XN4CAKN6ZJH4Y Funny Monkay!

    Soo I’m not trying to be a feminist or anything, and I’m a guy, but why is this only girls? I see a thousand more guys that try to be tough and shit and act all hard than I see girls trynna be a “bad bitch”.

    It just goes more unnoticed because girls are told to be such proper, delicate, and mature. So sad.

  • Goldfish

    I’ve got to say, I will encourage my children to make friends online, even I f they may never meet them. Most of my best friends and the people that have gotten me through rough points in my life were my Internet friends. They’re there when others aren’t.

  • ladyg

    So white girls or other don’t grow up too fast? Extremely biased

    • GangsaGangsta

      Black website

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/ILA2G7M7T36HWMJXSRIYNLHJHA Ruby

        You know back then blacks were forced to separate themselves. Now they do it voluntarily. Why not just have your own water fountain again.. lol

        • Kinshasha Dunton

          As far as websites are concerned, there are some culturally based sites that cater to the specific experiences that one may have as part of that community. There are things you & I may not understand if neither one of us is Latina, Polish, Caribbean, etc. I don’t believe it means we are racist, it’s just that it’s not part of our American experience.

  • sweets

    “little girl” is too broadly defined in this post. an 8 year old should obviously should not be going to raves, or a 12 year old shouldn’t be overly concerned with having massive curves. And realistically speaking, 12 and 16 are only a few years apart but at the same time worlds away.

  • Abby’s mom

    I signed up for the Mommynoire newsletter, before realizing this is a “black” website! Don’t care – it’s great advice for moms of any race. BTW, my ten year old daughter is Chinese, with her own individual concerns and regrets like not ever meeting her Chinese mom. I don’t expect to find advice on this website that directly helps with issues like that, but I do find solace and kindred spirits by reading what each of you writes here, and that helps so much.

  • megz

    Idk y ppl t makin a big deal about the pics being of all black chics. Its true that these things plague kids of all religions n races. this is the world we live in today n some of it we cant help .social media shouldnt teach ur kids we should. N we all should be very involved in what r kids r doing n when some of this is the parents fault. Ur kid cant know what booty poppin is if u dont allow this stuff to be viewed in ur house or monitor ur kids internet access. No 5 yr old should have A weave or fake nails again parents fault. Kids r growing up way to fast yes n its sad b/c when theyre 10 they wanna be 20 n when theyre 30 they wanna be 10 again. Some of these things r outlandish n insane y r our kids tooo grown because we allow it we cant completely control everything but we can control most of this stuff esp when they r under age 16.after that its really tough but hopefully by age 16 we have instilled good pure things in our kids that we dont have that much to worry about. if we stay good role models n close with our kids to help guide them. From what i understand blk ppl well most of them throw their kids out of the house when they turn 18. An 18 yr old is not an adult u cant expect this sweet lil innocent thing that we wanna keep our kids as always to go from this to an adult in 5 min. We all need to love each other n spend more time with our kids guide ,teach,love them n accept them n teach them to respect themselves n everyone n thing else. i think thats a start to this prob social media n peer presure is always gonna be there n so is hate n ignorance we all need to rise above it.what message r we sendin if were more concerned with the color of the skin of the ppl in the pics rather than the issue at hand or this is a blk site or a white site. Most web sites r designed for white ppl really come on is tv guide for white ppl twitter or face book ?? We all need to think about things before we say them. we all bleed n breathe the same way all have the same ability to feel the same things as well im sure some lil white girl loves n adores beyonce or some lil blk girl loves taylor swift n idolizes her. is that wrong ?why dont we put color n religion aside n deal with girls as girls n boys as boys going thro the trials n tribulations in a young adolescents life. honestly if ur not part of the solution ur part of the problem.we should take a lesson from our kids n grow up.

    • helpme

      L2GRAMMAR. JEEZ. I can’t even be bothered to read the post because it hurts my face looking at it.

  • Disbelief

    WTF???!! Weaves??? Strippers???Maternity clothes???? Whose kids are these??!!! I’m in disbelief. Don’t even know how I wound up here. Is this what’s really going on with this group of children? I’m shocked but not surprised.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/ILA2G7M7T36HWMJXSRIYNLHJHA Ruby

      No this person wrote a horrible article. They have some exaggerated kids those aren’t hints that’s already too late to save children.

  • jaycee216

    This article is ridiculous. Kids are growing with the times. Actual things you should worry about with tweens growing up too fast: Pregnancy and intravenous drug use. Otherwise, they’re probably just exploring themselves which is a TOTALLY NORMAL part of growing up.

  • Adriane Stewart

    What’s with the overt racism in the pictures? Your photos negate the purpose of your article. The title should say “15 racist and negative acts we can associate with young girls of color”. My suggestion is to learn to use photography in a more positive manner.

    • Adriane Stewart

      A quick fyi for those with a comment: a black woman posted this message. I could care less about the title of the page. Bias is bias and it appears people of all ethnicities are reading the information on this site. I’m sure the writers can do better.

  • mommy always

    Listen,black white,yellow,orange or purple,this is so ridiculous not to mention caddy,if ur tween is acting like this,mabey u need to change how u act,after all children mimic their parents…

    • GuessWho

      Not true. Some do the total opposite!

  • Mom of 3

    I have an 11 year and am pretty lucky she still believes in Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy. Once in a while she will asked for Facebook, manicures or an IPhone and my answer is always no. Her answer is SO and So has it, my cousin can or does. I told her the minute she gets those things she will be considered a grown-up and grown-up have bills, good luck on paying your private school tuition. She opened a twitter account with her cousin, I found out a few days later, that month I took money from her saving account and paid for her tuition payment. She has stopped asking for grown up things. Her cousin was not allowed to come over for a month, during that month she miss a birthday party. My husband thought I was being harsh on her. I said too bad, my house, my rules.

    • Brownmsugar

      Maybe your daughter is just pretending thar she still believes in tooth fairy or Santa so that she can still get gifts. You would think by age 11 she would know the truth.

  • Megpinni

    Very good advice regardless of race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status… All little girls will confront one or more of these scenarios, and as parents, we don’t always remember that we, too, were up against those same challenges at that age.

  • Good dog

    This whole site is Racist.

  • Truth

    Little girls that are raised by whores have whore tendencies. Same goes for the lame bitches.

  • as

    They forgot hello kitty tattoos

  • mamabond

    First off, I’m white. Whatever. second, I absolutely see A need to be mindful about these issues. Every parent has their own way, but not every way is a good one. I work in the public school system and I see what these young people today have to endure and its heart breaking. Daddies in jail, moms on drugs, abused by family members, neglected, malnourished, exposed to the worst parts of life at a tender age. I think young girls are sexualized so early and taught thier bodies are the most important aspect of who they are. Young men are taught that they can treat women like objects and told to be tough. We need to teach our young people that they are valuable, that they can amount to something. you don’t need coach purses to teach the value of a dollar. Teach your kids hard work, hard play , respect for themselves and others, allow them to be creative and express themselves but let them become their true selves, not an image created by Society. Black white whatever, just be your authentic self, do good and be good, and for heavens sake, pay attention, be involved, children are amazing but they need guidance to make the right decisions and they want you in their business they just don’t want to admit it!

  • Patty

    Black, white whatever. Good tips. Didn’t register with me until after I read the comments that all the children in the photos were black.
    At the end of the day, we are all just people.

  • Robert

    I notice all the inane comments about race, about a “white” site, etc., etc., etc. So we have a “Black History Month” – why is that? If there were a “White History Month” you can bet it would be considered racist. Of course, there is “Latin Night” or “week” at the ballparks, etc., but if I wanted to start an “Italian Night” or “week” or whatever, I would be considered racist as well. How about if we recognize the greatness in our own cultures, but do as the early immigrants did – assimilate our cultures into the American culture? After all, we live here, in America, not in “Little Africa” or “Little China” or “Little Cuba”. All of you need to get over yourselves & be Americans, not some little separatist group who accuses all others of being “racist” – because this only proves that all of you are indeed racist…

  • Donald Brown

    BET was sent from hell to keep little Shaniquia working in the strip club.

  • feministanon

    Is this satire? If it’s not I’m thoroughly disgusted by the heaping pile of slut shaming you just dumped on both your daughter and impressionable parents. Good luck raising a confident daughter while you make her feel like she’s not a proper lady if she isn’t identifying with your archaic value system.

  • modernmommy23

    As a white girl, I actually appreciated seeing an article that featured lovely photos of black girls. Grow up, people.

  • Spark0303

    If u require this dumb list to recognize your daughter is trying to grow up too fast then let her grow up because you are too much of a dumbass to be a parent.
    If I was of a darker skin color I would be bulls*** this website and article makes your mothers seem like idiots and your daughters seem like a superficial skanks.
    Jus sayin

  • Dan

    Well written, Toya Sharee!

    I raised two sons, no daughters, but I was raised with three sisters and your advice rings true. While the pressures to develop these15 warning signs may have intensified in the 21st century, you know they were around and had the same effects back in the 50s, 60s and 70s, as well. My parents did what they could, but each of my sisters dealt with societal pressures to derail their healthy development in different ways, with varying degrees of success at different parts of their lives. As parents we can help, but it looks like to me (as an admittedly daughterless dad) that the best folks can’t guarantee their daughters’ happiness.

    I understand that a great deal of the pressure on today’s girls comes, as always, from media, other girls, and society in general. But, perhaps parents would appreciate some advice on how to raise boys to not make things worse for girls trying to grow up to be healthy selves. Toya Sharee and her colleagues might be a good source for such a posting.

    We tried to raise our boys to see girls and women as strong people, potential good friends, and intelligent individuals with independent plans and aspirations of their own, not only as potential romantic partners or objects of affection (or objects of anything else). Not sure yet how much of that took, but although still very young men, it seems that they do not choose friends, male or female, based on whether they wear media/pop society-approved clothes, cosmetics, shoes and all that and have been lucky enough to find friends of both genders and girlfriends that think the same way. Which is good, since our family has the fashion sense of hermit crabs…

    Keep up the good work!

  • http://www.facebook.com/starshine13 Dominica Strong

    I’m sure stuff like this happens everywhere but overall I think kids are going in the opposite direction, and aren’t getting credit for their good choices. I think with news and the media being more prominent in our lives we get to hear of any and all instances of kids who are making these poor choices. I had my first kiss at 20 and that was a choice. My friends were similar. My sister and her friends are popular at their high school and they have similar values in fact being innocent is accepted more at our high school than when I was there 10 years ago. Btw I’m black but didn’t know this was a black site, but my thoughts apply to all races as my friends are American and we don’t see race as a

  • Anonymous

    Good I am a normal person! All of the girls at my school are insane.

  • http://www.facebook.com/loxegwen Loic Le Guen

    the “being raped” ending was bummer

  • Stella

    These are all inappropriate ways for young girls to act, but it’s not their fault for wanting to act like that if the only celebrities they hear of are snooki and kim kardashian. It’s only natural for them to look up to any popular celebrity, even if they don’t know what is a good vs a bad role model :/

  • Najeema Iman, I AM Curly Locks

    I must comment due to the ignorance that I see here. Rather your white black or any other color under the rainbow, some of the simple ideas in the post can help you. Not every principle applies to every teen, however I notice many of the things above did affect me personally as an adolescent. Rather it is a Black Barbie like Nicki or a Monstar like Lady Gaga these images can do harm to youth. Yes they are talented but not role models.

    The heart of Mommynoire in my opinion is to help improve the family lives of African American women. It may be selective however sites that I frequent like Babble.com rarely include information that is helpful to an African American Woman like me. Hey to my Caucasian friends not able to embrace other colors of the rainbow that may be where you want to go. I frequent them all and take in any information that I can in order to gain different perspectives in raising my little ones. I encourage you to do the same.

  • Get Over Yourself

    The author is a real prude. Get over yourself, loser.

  • http://www.mobileappaddict.com/ John Defahl

    First off, this site is impossible to view on a mobile device. Enough with the popups and popovers. My gosh just stop. As for the racism rant, idiot it’s a African American targeted content site. Targeting isn’t racism, its a business model. 3rd, when did parents become such push overs? Hasn’t anyone ever used “no”? My mom used it plenty. The best thing you could do for your kid is to stop letting them watch brain corroding television! That stupid propaganda box is probably the source of 99% of the influence on your kid. If you want your daughter barefoot and pregnant at 15 then I suggest you keep letting her watch. Parents have to learn to be parents. I see so many women trying to live vicariously through their kids. It sickening. If your kid ends up retarded.. Don’t ask why.. Just look in the mirror, and you will see the biggest retard of them all!

  • Mudma

    Our job is to guide them, as best we can, and to not let their hearts and minds be contaminated by this dirty world. Children are changing, but so is the world. They are taking in the changes and absorbing them. They are taught every day. We must teach them to unlearn the standards that have been set by society. It’s hard, I would know.

  • jazzygirl

    number 6 is the problem, not nicki or Rihanna, but the fact that our kids don’t see their parents as role models…..That is when all the problems you mentioned start taking place.

    My 19yr old, listened to Lil Wayne, Vibes Cartel, Nicki Minaj, old school lil kim as well as many reggae artists, and I had the time of my life parenting her, especially, her teenage years.

    She dresses in fashion but modestly, she buys quality not brand name, and if you ask her who has any of her favorite artists been romantically linked too or any part of their private lives, she will likely give you a very sarcastic/rude answer….she don’t care.
    though she may know that Nicki Minaj in from Trinidad……that was hard to escape as the media here made sure every Trinidadian knew.

    Believe it or not, I am her role model, on what to do as well as what not to do. Too often the artists are to blame.i tell you, lil wayne nor nicki raised my baby

  • Guest

    I’m am not a parent yet, but i do not agree with some of these. ESPECIALLY the baby names part, which little girl did not love picking out baby names? If you flip out and shelter her more, what are you preparing her for? I was raised in a private sheltered school until i went into high school and i have been thankful for that but some of these crossed the line, one thing i can say that i have learned from being a foster kid too. Do not overprotect your child, but do not let her go to free. GIVE HER OPTIONS. If she likes a role model that is bad for her; you better explain WHY!! A big tear will rip through your relationship, you must always be able to freely talk to your daughter. You don’t want her to date boys so young? EXPLAIN WHY! Tell her how precious her body is, tell her how beautiful her heart is. Just always remind her that she is special and

  • love4hope4ever

    I’m am not a parent yet, but i do not agree with some of these. ESPECIALLY the baby names part, which little girl did not love picking out baby names? If you flip out and shelter her more, what are you preparing her for? I was raised in a private sheltered school until i went into high school and i have been thankful for that, but i stll hade my freedom to learn from my mistakes, and some of these crossed the line, one thing i can say that i have learned from being a foster kid too. Do not overprotect your child, but do not let her go to free. GIVE HER OPTIONS. If she likes a role model that is bad for her; you better explain WHY!! A big tear will rip through your relationship, you must always be able to freely talk to your daughter. You don’t want her to date boys so young? EXPLAIN WHY! Tell her how precious her body is, tell her how beautiful her heart is. Just always remind her that she is special and should take care of herself. Give her responsibility to show that you trust her, but remind her of the consequences. If she wants a bag, wait for her birthday and keep the suspense up, remind her that it is something that should be treasured, if she loses it then you remind her of the trust you had in her, give her a second chance but not right away, let her earn it. I am not a parent but had to raise my brother and sister at a very young age and i learned a few things. Responsibility and trust are the main things you want to teach your daughter at the tender ages of 11-14.

  • af

    most of these are phases. I am in my mid teens, and I don’t have any kids, but I went through some of these, and they have taught me valuable lessons afterwards, like the money one, I used to ask my parents for this and that but I got over it quickly and realized the value of money. So as I was saying there are a few that are just phases but I see where you are coming from :)

  • MagicLady

    Parents need to BE parents and not desperate to be their kids best friends. If you daughter (or son) is growing up too fast. It’s YOUR fault for not raising them right. Get back to basics and don’t be afraid to be strict. Sure they may hate you now but when they’re 30 and stable adults they will thank you!