Will One Little One Ever Be Enough?

pregnant woman
13 Comments

When my husband and I first decided to get married, we’d talk endlessly about what our life together would be like. And of course the main focus of the conversation was our future children. We’d chat for hours about how many children we wanted and how we would raise these future perfect little angels. I remember desiring a big family – at least 3 biological children with the possibility of adopting an additional child. Can you say “dreamers”?!

After a few years of marriage came the cold hard reality. Having a baby didn’t come as easy for me as we’d expected. And when our child was born we discovered how time consuming and expensive it was to raise just one little person. It didn’t take long before my husband and I agreed on what we refer to as “the one child plan.”

The plan has worked for us, and I wouldn’t trade my family of three. But in the first few years of being a mommy of one, I’d get a strange pang every once and a while. It was more of a hunger than a pang, really. It was a baby hunger. It would come at the strangest times. The hunger would creep up on me as I’d watch a mom in the grocery store with a baby on her hip and two little ones in the shopping cart. The hunger would smack me in the face whenever a well-meaning, but really nosy person would say “So, are you ready for baby number 2?”

But the hunger would be most overwhelming whenever I would hold a friend’s soft, cuddly baby. Just looking too closely at a precious little face was enough to make me go running back to my husband to revise “the one baby plan.” Of course, he’d bring me back to reality by reminding me why we came up with “the plan” in the first place. Once he started multiplying the prices of dance classes, swimming classes, and future college tuition by two and three, it was easy to refocus on “the plan!”

Now that I’m older and my child is more independent, I couldn’t dream of having another little person running around needing my time and attention. I’m content and thankful to have just one child. And I treasure every moment that much more knowing that I’ll only get to experience it once with my daughter.

But whenever I meet mothers who have one child, I search their eyes wondering if just one is enough for them. And when I see strangers ask them “So, are you ready for baby number 2, yet?”, my heart automatically goes out to them.

MommyNoire friends, have you ever experience baby hunger?

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Comments

  • JamieC

    I have two, and I do not want another. My husband wants another SO badly, but I can’t fathom starting over again. My kids are getting older, and I’m enjoying it. I always wanted one, and then when we were surprised by baby #2, it felt good to know that my firstborn would have a playmate, and we got our balance of a boy and then a girl. To be honest, I can’t think of a good reason to have a third child. We already have both sexes, the two we have get along great, kids are expensive, and I want to get back to doing more things for myself.

    • Yolanda D.

      Jamie — It is hard to start all over again once your family gets into a groove. So interesting to know that men get “baby hunger” too! Best to you and your family no matter what you decide!

      • Mrs. Urban

        My husband had baby hunger a month after we had our first child. Please honey give me 2 years atleast.

        • Yolanda D.

          Mrs. Urban — sounds like men get the hunger just as badly (or worse!) than we do. LOL!

    • Nene

      Do it for your husband. What if he decides to go have baby number three with another woman?

      • jen

        Not a good reason to have another (for your husband)!! I am happy with one. If he leaves for another woman (to have a baby) he’s a jerk to start with. The responsibility for taking care of a child is usually all on the mom so if you are happy with 2 stop :)

  • Yolanda D.

    Wepo1 – thanks for reading. This story was actually written from my perspective as a married mom.

    • Nicole

      Are you saying there should be no articles telling black women to have children or discussing black women and children because the assumption is it’s only promoting black women to have babies out of wedlock? Seems sad that such an everyday article like this would create such a reaction because the characters within the article are black.

      • Nene

        Whatever.

  • Holl

    I did experience baby hunger and got my daughter in the process. So now I have an older son and a younger daughter…..Yes I have to multiple everything by two but I am sp happy to have her…..

    • Yolanda D.

      Holl — I’m glad that your family is exactly as you want it to be. So glad that you have two little angels!

  • Nene

    I get the hunger all the time. I only have one and he’s big right now and I want one more or two more before he gets to be to up in age to where I have to start all over again.

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