After news of the horrendous Krim tragedy made it’s way through social media there was a lot of public question asking and soul-searching. It’s impossible to comprehend senseless violence but when there are children involved people want answers. I read comments and speculation ranging from ridiculous, women shouldn’t work because our kids can’t be trusted with anyone but their parents, to outright mean, clearly something was wrong in this narcissistic woman’s life because she chose to blog about her seemingly perfect existence and portrayed an unrealistic lifestyle.
As a blogger myself I’ve heard this argument before. Some feel that mothers who blog owe the public a full view of their lives. The good, the bad, and the ugly. If we don’t put it all out there we aren’t being real. We’re making others feel badly about their lives. We’re portraying an unrealistic version of reality and clearly we’re secretly maniacs hiding all of our skeletons from the public with photos of our meticulously manicured lawns, gorgeous children, and perfectly baked brown cookies.
Everyone has a different motive for blogging. For me it is a creative outlet that keeps me sane while I am away from my friends and family and mostly alone in student housing. I enjoy sharing pictures of my family with loved ones. Photography and writing are my passions. They’re my oasis in my motherhood desert. Raising kids away from loved ones is often a lonely business. It’s great reaching out and getting to know others in a similar place or with similar interests.
While it may seem that my kids are never dirty or wearing their pajamas at 3:00 p.m. it isn’t the truth. I choose to share what I do because it is what I want to remember. The rough days are seared into my memory. I need no reminder of what I looked like after staying up for three consecutive nights with a teething baby. No, thanks.
My blog is my collection of moments that made my laugh, smile, and sometimes cry with my little family. Many moms blog for similar reasons. Our blogs are our virtual baby books. Did you put pictures of your couch smeared in peanut butter in your baby book? Maybe, but probably not. Chances are you were too busy dealing with the disaster to stop and snap a photo to keep it real for your friends, family, or readers.
Judging mothers for what they choose to share online is ludicrous. We all have varying levels of comfort when it comes to what we share in public. Some moms wouldn’t be caught dead in sweatpants in public, others live in them. So what? Is the mom who doesn’t wear sweatpants out in public a raging narcissist because she makes an effort to look good outside of the home? Is portraying an unrealistic image of what a real mother looks like? Of course not. The same goes for our online lives.
Our blog’s are our truths as we want to remember them. Choosing to share the happy moments does not mean we deny the struggles and realities associated with motherhood. We are not denying their existence. We’re documenting and preserving the memories we most want to remember. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Are most mom blogs narcissistic?
Words By: Veronica Armstrong
Veronica Armstrong is a photographer, blogger, and freelance writer whose stories spring from the cinderblock walls of her married graduate student apartment. You can find her on Google+ or see more of her writing and photography on her blog.